Psychotherapy for Cary, Raleigh, Apex, & Morrisville, NC by Dr. Bryce Kaye , Tele. 919 467 1180

Dr. Bryce Kaye, Psychologist

Author of The Marriage First Aid Kit

In an old Greek myth, a host named Procrustes had a peculiar fetish for making his guests fit their bed at night. Instead of trying to "fit" a person’s needs into one school of psychotherapy, I do my best to make sure my therapeutic approach fits a person’s needs. While my techniques are varied, my style does lean in one direction. I have a reputation for being extremely active and direct in the form of an "active advocacy". Many clients have found themselves dissatisfied with prior therapists who have merely been passive and emotionally supportive. My style is more ambitious. The first thing I do is to help the person clarify goals and get an agreement about what we are trying to accomplish. From then on, I direct focus and energy toward whatever will be most helpful toward reaching those goals. Very often, a person’s history is relevant in understanding how certain emotions or beliefs became conditioned to their current state. However, I find that insight and understanding alone are usually insufficient to produce most emotional changes. To bring about changes in emotion or emotionally determined behavior, a well-designed plan of intervention is necessary. When I make recommendations for a course of intervention, I always explain the principles of psychology and emotion behind it.

In the course of therapy, I do a fair amount of personalized teaching. One way that I do rely on insight is to teach a person how to influence their emotions. Our emotions follow a somewhat different set of rules than ordinary behavior. Usually, we can immediately choose how we want to behave. With emotions, we can’t. Our feelings are learned in a different way than what we think of as ordinary learning. We learn to feel certain ways through either powerful or repetitive emotional experience. The technical term is called "conditioning." My style of therapy has been influenced by my years of study of psychophysiology and how emotions are “conditioned.” My theoretical orientation incorporates Russian research on perception and conditioned reflexes as well as western research on the brain circuitry of attention, perception, emotions and learning. I have found that while our emotional conditioning can’t be immediately changed, it can be gradually altered if we learn to use the correct tools. In very effective therapy, these tools are employed and people make dramatic changes in their feelings. So the paradox is this: feelings can be changed but you just need to learn some new rules about how to influence them without trying to control them.

The following are some of the kinds of therapy that I do. Click on any topic for a more in-depth description of how I approach it.

Marriage counseling and relationship therapy (Click Here)

Adjustment counseling & stress management (Click Here)

Healing emotional wounds (trauma resolution) (Click Here)

Raising self-esteem and reducing self-defeating shame (Click Here)

Anger management & assertiveness training (Click Here)

Some very technical papers I have written about therapy

Reversing Reciprocal Suppression in the Anterior Cingulate Cortex

Conflict Inoculation Training

Interactive Cognitive Motor Interweaves

If you want to explore the possibility of therapy with me, I usually recommend one session and then you can go home and think about it. One session is usually enough time for me to give you feedback about a recommended direction and strategy. To schedule a meeting time, in the triangle call 919-467-1180. If you want me to see you at Oriental Counseling Center, call me at 252-249-3099.

These chapters from my book will give you a good orientation about what's really happening in relationships. You can print them out for easier reading. (Adobe reader is required. You can download it at http://get.adobe.com/reader/ )

Introduction

A few words about why and how this books was written.

Chapter 1 - The Great No-No

This chapter illustrates how our own fear of shame is the greatest obstacle we have to face if we want to improve an intimate relationship.

Chapter 2 - The Structure of Vital Relationships

Love based relationships do not have as much stability or resilience as do integrity based relationships. Ths chapter describes the strong foundation of a relationship that can stand the test of time.

Chapter 3 - Balance and Paradox

A vital relationship needs to be dynamic and not static. Opposing needs and emotional states must be kept balanced over time. This chapter unravels the paradox.

Chapter 4 - Nurturing Healthy Attachments

Relationships must be fed. It's not enough to just feel. This chapter explains the fundamentals about how attachment needs can be effectively met.

Chapter 5 - Love's Hidden Assassin

A very common relationship killer operates far below our awareness. It leads to the numbing loss of attraction and affection.

Chapter 6 - The Other Usual Suspects

This chapter outlines the other most common relationship killers.

Chapter 7 - Freeing and Strengthening Your Hedonic Self

If you're starting to numb out and lose attraction, this chapter suggests what you do to start resuscitating the part of yourself that's going dormant.

Chapter 8 - Defending Autonomy

This chapter gives you tools to ward off covert inhibition that might otherwise strangle your affection.

Chapter 9 - Managing Conflict

This chapter describes various forms of constructive and destructive conflict. Tools for appropriate management are provided.

Chapter 10 - Sharing Power and Authority

This chapter contains helpful tools for negotiating chores, structuring finances, and dealing with in-laws.

Chapter 11 - Great Sex

This chapter describes elements that foster great sex as well as some guidelines on how to get there.

Chapter 12 - Mapping Your Strategy

This chapter discusses planning for change.

Chapter 13 - Conclusion

Addendum: Message to a Daughter

Glossary

Some articles about relationships that I’ve written that you might find interesting:

Some discussions I've had with people who've asked questions on my internet Marriage First Aid Kit:

Addictions or compulsions
Careers
Children affecting relationship
Communication
Emotional avoidance
Grief or depression
Infidelity
In-laws
Jealousy or privacy issues
Lies or deceit
Money
Not in love
Rejection or separation
Sexual interest
Unproductive arguing
Violence
Miscellaneous

In addition to his work at Cary Counseling Center, read about Dr. Kaye's other unique service that offers a highly personalized marriage counseling cruise. You and your partner arecoached by Dr. Kaye on how to overcome marriage problems and improve your relationship while you sail to lovely destinations on the rivers and sounds of North Carolina.

Click Here to watch Dr. Kaye discuss some important relationship truths.

Cary Counseling Center

A Tradition of Quality Service