The following two papers prepare you for a very powerful exercise that can radically improve your relationship. It will do so by changing your intuitive perceptions and emotions that steer your relationship behavior. In other words, it will change your unconscious. However, the cost is that it requires much effort. It pits one part of your personality against another like an isometric exercise. Your principle-based higher consciousness will need to struggle against your more narcissistic desires for perfect image or comfort. It’s this struggle that burns the principles in deep and increases your level of consciousness. After repetitive practice, you both will notice that more respectful behavior occurs naturally. The result will be increased trust and respect for each other.
You should download and print out 2 copies of both papers. The first step is to read the Meaning Matters paper and then discuss it with your partner. Whatever you do, DO NOT take your partner’s inventory when discussing the 10 principles that make a relationship thrive. Merely discuss what they mean. You should also discuss the 4 levels of consciousness described in the paper. We all operate at different levels at different times and in different situations.
The second step is to read the Autonomous Corrections paper and discuss it with your partner. This exercise focuses on the 5 most critical principles for protecting your relationship. Make sure you both are committed to the strenuous campaign that the exercise will require.
The third step is to find an accountability agent who is willing to help you stay motivated. It can be a therapist, your minister or a close mutual friend. This needs to be a person who will periodically review both of your logs from your exercises. He or she needs to do this with both of you present at least every couple of weeks.
The fourth and final step is to do the exercise itself. The following links will download the papers: