These chapters from Dr. Kaye’s books will give you a deeper understanding of what causes communication to break down and what you can do about it. Each links opens a PDF.


A few words about why and how this books was written.

Chapter 1 – The Great No-No

This chapter illustrates how our own fear of shame is the greatest obstacle we have to face if we want to improve an intimate relationship.

Chapter 2 – The Structure of Vital Relationships

Love based relationships do not have as much stability or resilience as do integrity based relationships. This chapter describes the strong foundation of a relationship that can stand the test of time.

Chapter 3 – Balance and Paradox

A vital relationship needs to be dynamic and not static. Opposing needs and emotional states must be kept balanced over time. This chapter unravels the paradox.

Chapter 4 – Nurturing Healthy Attachment

Relationships must be fed. It’s not enough to just feel. This chapter explains the fundamentals about how attachment needs can be effectively met.

Chapter 5 – Love’s Hidden Assassin

A very common relationship killer operates far below our awareness. It leads to the numbing loss of attraction and affection.

Chapter 6 – The Other Usual Suspects

This chapter outlines the other most common relationship killers.

Chapter 7 – Freeing and Strengthening Your Hedonic Self

If you’re starting to numb out and lose attraction, this chapter suggests what you do to start resuscitating the part of yourself that’s going dormant.

Chapter 8 – Defending Autonomy

This chapter gives you tools to ward off covert inhibition that might otherwise strangle your affection.

Chapter 9 – Managing Conflict

This chapter describes various forms of constructive and destructive conflict. Tools for appropriate management are provided.

Chapter 10 – Sharing Power and Authority

This chapter contains helpful tools for negotiating chores, structuring finances, and dealing with in-laws.

Chapter 11 – Great Sex

This chapter describes elements that foster great sex as well as some guidelines on how to get there.

Chapter 12 – Mapping Your Strategy

This chapter discusses planning for change.

The following are chapters from Dr. Kaye’s next book: